PAM AND MA DO IOS

Pam and Margot are here! For those of you unfortunate enough not to know who these peeps are, they are our friends from high school, and they arrived the same day we moved into our apartment. This wasn't an issue, except that our landlord had to approach Carmen (his employee who got us the apartment in the first place) and clarify that there were only four, and not six of us living in the apartment. It's kind of funny because five out of the six people staying in the room are illegal immigrants cramped into a small room looking for work in a foreign country. Sound familiar?

I don't blame our landlord for asking, considering this aparmtment is in NO way capable of housing six people in its one room. There is no stove and no microwave (despite the fact that it was advertised to have both.) Behind the bathroom door are two steps that lead down to the shithole we like to refer to as the dungeon. It has one tiny window placed up high like it's a prison cell except that it doesn't close. The bathroom's position is underneath a set of outdoor stairs, so that there is a nook where Harry Potter could have been raised, or brooms could be kept. Instead it's where our toilet, shower and sink are. There's only one closet and three lights in the room. Only one of these lights works. There's one window in the main room above the only door which I swear to god is some secret portal that only giant disgusting moths can find. I'm not sure how the tarantulas get in though...We may be getting a hot plate, but we have to bring outselves to drop 67 Euro all at once, so that's gonna be tough. Also, our fridge is the size of a mini fridge you are typically given freshman year of college...And our game plan is to buy groceries...yeah...

Pam and Margot are here for five days, so we pushed our beds together and it actually makes for a pretty cuddly crib (Wurd to my Ireland peeps) but it's kind of a hassle having to dissasemble it every morning so our landlord Frankie doesn't catch us riding dirty.

Advantages to Pam and Ma being here:
1. Pam brought her computer. Pam has two seasons of The Office.
2. Pam brought her computer. Pam has two seasons of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
3. Pam brought her computer. Pam has Solitaire (which my Dad somehow removed from my computer when he wiped it for viruses. Love you, Dad.)
4. Pam brought her computer. Pam has Snood.
5. Pam and Ma are at the end of their travels, so we get all the stuff they're trying to jettison to make their bags lighter that we were too cheap to buy. These include one towel, 2,132,456,456 tampons and Ma's dank European blowdryer.
6. We get to remenisce CONSTANTLY about highschool and we have been. We've already pretty accurately equated B**S****** (name changed to protect identity) to Stephen Glandsberg and talked about how we can't wait for our five year reunion. Huge nostalgia trip, it's been wicked sweet.
7. Now that we're two more people, all our meals and alcohol are divided by four, which is much lighter on the wallet. Although we order twice as much food as when there's two of us...But i'm gonna just choose not to figure that equation. Since they've been here, the weather has been sort of iffy. This means 80 with a chilly (pleasant) wind (breeze) and not sunny (1-3 clouds in the sky.) Yesterday we were reading on the beach, and the weather got a little discouraging which means that I was covered in goosebumps which is just not cute. At this point we decided to go (Sophie had read thirty pages, I'd gotten through 9) and have a nice little lunch at this beachside restaurant. We ate bruschetta, hummus and a small pizza to split and then splurged on a hookah for the table. We ordered peach, but accidentally got brought "grandma's basement" flavor. It wasn't so bad though, and since we were so exhausted we got pretty giggly off of it. It was so relaxing getting to sit in hammocks with blankets given to us by the restaurant and smokin some hookah with my ladies. Pam claims it was "the chillest i've eva been."

Our first night out, we were pregaming in our room when a new friend (the term for stranger in Ios) named Eddie came in and we chatted. Then some stuff happened.

Some stuff that happened:
1. Eddie asks us where we're from. The next ten minutes (no exagerration) is spent all trying to do the best Boston accent. When he tries his words are absolutely incoherent. At THIS point, we should have registered that he was relatively intoxicated.
2. Eddie spends the next ten minutes talking about what can only be described as nothing. Then the conversation slows.
3. Eddie asks where we are from. AT THIS POINT we start to realize he is extremely intoxicated.
4. Eddie says something that is probably in Elvish or some shit. No nationally recognized language anyways, and looks expectantly for a response from anyone. None come.
5. Eddie asks Sophie for a cuddle, and gets up to sit behind her. Sophie just looks around.
6. Commence 15 minute backrub for Sophie from Eddie. He asks for one in return. Sophie refuses. It was a gift, Eddie.
7. We decide to leave and Eddie think she's leading us to the club he works at called Pegasus. In reality he just happens to be in front because he's walking the fastest.
8. We arrive at Pegasus. Eddie's hands are up in the air like a triumphant bastart and he hops up the steps to the club. When he turns around, we are all gone.
We ended up seeing him two days later and calling him out. He remembered nothing.

I've been informed that Michael O'Neill now has the link to this blog. I love you Dad. I'm being safer than it seems here in this blog. Much more safe. I promise.